The London musician on finding escape, solace and love through his experimental sound
The transcendental nature of music is recognised in many simple ways. Whether to decipher our own emotions or to induce a certain state of mind, escapism is usually what we long for when tuning in to specific musical frequencies. This is the case for multi-instrumentalist, composer and producer cktrl, real name Bradley Miller. His rich soundscapes originally provided him with a gateway to solace when floating through the humdrum of life’s responsibilities, and through moments where he felt like “reality was always too much”. His name an abbreviation of ‘can’t keep to reality’, cktrl’s need for escapism through music has developed into a safe space where he can unpack the experiences that have gone on to inform his full-bodied releases, the 2020 EP ‘Robyn’ and his most recent offering ‘Zero’.
While some would describe the Londoner’s sound as the reimagination of classical music through the Black lens, cktrl is quick to reaffirm the fact that there have been many Black composers of the genre, such as Samuel Coleridge-Taylor and Florence Price, that have gone unrecognised and uncelebrated, despite the often said “all music is Black music”. He continues, “I see neo-classical written, I see jazz written but people always want to put something in a box, I suppose what’s good about the internet now is that we can just redefine the whole thing.” His inclination to classical was a result of learning the clarinet as a child but he’s not interested in being pigeonholed into any genre. “What’s important is that the other young Black guys from the ends can see me and be like, ‘You know what, I want to learn an instrument, this could be cool for me’ or ‘Man can actually do this’,” he tells me.
While representation in music is important to him, cktrl has always relied on his own creative instincts to navigate his steps. With a sound that evidently exists beyond the margins of a singular sound, he credits all the “different iterations of Black music” he was exposed to growing up spanning revival, roots & culture, soca, jazz and soul. Spending time in rotation between Jamaica and Montserrat, the sounds of the islands were never far from this Lewisham-bred musician. His borough is even home to the legendary Saxon Sound System, which provided him with more exposure to a world of sonics that he now pulls from. “We also had Genesis FM and that was pretty much a youth club at one point so I would just go there and hear people spitting as well as the older guys doing the reggae ting,” he remembers.
After he unpacked the workings of the clarinet in his adolescent years, he evolved to the saxophone and mastered music production during sixth form. Grime was the soundtrack to that era, which spiralled into other entities such as dubstep and funky house. This melting pot became the school through which cktrl honed his technical skills. “Back then, you needed to know how to mix your tunes for it to hit. That’s why I got into DJing - to play my songs.” Cutting his teeth in low-key London clubs as a DJ, he gained early attention following his hour-long Boiler Room set in 2013 as well as his frequent appearances on NTS Radio.
The bulk of cktrl’s early catalogue can be found on Soundcloud including the debut EP ‘Forest’ and 2016 mixtape ‘INDi’ that saw him begin to playfully explore his curiosity for abstract electronic layers interlocked with his grime influences. These projects, and others that followed, float between the borders of chaos and ambience and are the product of what cktrl describes as creating with no end game. “A lot of the time when we're younger you’re obviously experimenting without much intentions. Then as you go through life you begin to create with increasing intention because your feelings are aligned with your expanding experiences.”
The first release cktrl birthed from this more matured perspective and which put him on his current trajectory was ‘Robyn’, a documentation of his journey through the dark passages of heartbreak. “That was a mad ting… you see the artwork for that? Jesus!” he says, jokingly referring to the brutal imagery portraying himself with bruised cheeks and a battered eye – a visual representation of the unrest he was processing at the time.
“What’s important is that the other young Black guys from the ends can see me and be like, ‘Man can actually do this’,”
Produced by Duval Timothy, ‘Robyn’ is often sparse in texture as we follow the thin, bright tones of the clarinet, each emotionally driven note easing listeners into an elusive and meditative zone. There are small moments where piano accompaniments creep in but it’s the final moments of the EP that remind us of cktrl’s extensive knowledge of electronic soundscapes. Closing track ‘As You Are’ is helmed by a distant drum pattern and airy samples of birds tweeting, suggestive of him looking ahead to a fresh start and regaining some strength after the storm.
“‘Robyn’ is the first time where I was completely honest,” he reflects. “Some of the tracks were created during and some in hindsight, after coming out of the feeling. Sometimes you have to go through the thing and then it becomes a lament on what’s already taken place. The title track has an optimism whereas other tracks like ‘Will The Feelings Leave’ are complete turmoil.”
His latest EP ‘Zero’ is a more delicate exploration of love and its imperfections, built mainly from production-heavy instrumentation. Through this project cktrl had the opportunity to try his hand as an A&R, sifting through the pool of talent he’s met through his career to bring together a tight-knit group of collaborators. He observes by saying, “From when I first got Instagram, I could always find singers that may not necessarily know each other but I know their voices would work well together,” he says.
Vocalists Mereba, anaiis, Annahstasia and Anajah all lend their heavenly vocals to the EP, thereby presenting multiple perspectives on intimacy. The title track ruminates on love that peaks too soon, going from ‘infinity to zero’ while ‘Safe’ is all about falling into love’s embrace – as does he on the EP’s artwork, this time chilling naked (and unbruised) with his lover. The project personifies feelings of warmth and security but the shift in cktrl’s emotional state isn’t the only reason for the altering of his production formula. “I’m not into making the same sounds or regurgitating the same track twice, we don’t need to do that,” he asserts.
Deep wounds have been memorialised in both ‘Zero’ and ‘Robyn’ so there’s a sense of reliving those tender moments when performing to a live audience. cktrl recounts an occasion where a live set almost became a strenuous experience. “Listening to the audio isn’t as triggering as performing it; performing it is long but obviously a means to an end,” he says. “I did a sound installation a couple of months ago and decided that I’d just play music throughout the day from 12 midday to 8pm. Worst mistake - I will never do that again! The first performance was fine but by the third one it was just a mess because I’m having to perform in front of people while I’m going through all kinds of things.”
Cross-discipline, cross-border collaboration has also become a way to grow for cktrl. In recent months he pieced together an intricate jazz-laced composition for Kenneth Ize’s Paris Fashion Week show. He also created a vibrant homage to the Pan-African experience for designer Priya Ahluwalia's award-winning fashion film ‘Traces’. And he appeared alongside emerging musician Rasharn Powell at a Alexander McQueen show. But his most buzzy moment of 2021 must have been appearing alongside by Beyoncé in the artist’s affirmative ‘Black Is King’ video.
The idea of self-soothing comes up at this point of our conversation as he reveals just how important it is to be surrounded by loved ones or retreating to a quiet space after a show or stressful work situation. For cktrl, previous lockdowns have been the catalyst for his radical take on self-care and for choosing to show up for himself in different ways. However, adjusting to an everyday routine has pulled him further away from those healthy boundaries. No doubt these rituals will also go on tour with him as he prepares for dates in Paris, London and Amsterdam this April.
Returning to a sense of flow fits perfectly with the themes of his upcoming project. It’s still under wraps but as we part ways, he gives me the inside scoop on its soul-finding direction: “It’s about surrendering so you can actually reap the benefits of trusting yourself.”